Footprints In The Sand '08

One night I was walking along the beach with the Lord.
Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.
In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.
Sometimes there were two sets of footprints,
other times there were one set of footprints.

This bothered me because I realized
a lot of those times, I totally blacked out.
when I was super high, in a K-hole,
or one particular night in Ibiza
I could see only one set of footprints.

So I said to the Lord,
"Lord, you remember that
one night in Ibiza,
you turned that bottle of Advil into Ecstasy?
I have noticed that during
the most intoxicated periods of my life
there have only been one
set of footprints in the sand.
Especially that one night.
Why, whenever we party,
do you always wait until I'm totally wasted
and then bail on me?"

The Lord cleared his throat,
"You don't remember what happened that night?
You'd better sit down a sec.
Okay, you remember the Advil into Exstasy?
Well, we were walking down the beach, suuuuper fucked up,
both kinda horny, kinda feelin' it,
and there were no girls in site.
I was like, "you ever mess around with a male diety before?"
and you were all, "No, but I figure, I'm in college, that's
when people experiment, right?"
I took that as my cue.
So I lifted you up, turned you upside down,
and we performed fellatio on each other
while I walked on the beach."